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05 Juni 2008 | Nederland, Breda
You can actually only call home home when you feel at home. I must admit, when I finally arrived at Schiphol after a lot of schedule changes and missed connecting flights and fines from the douanier and so on, I was very happy that that drag had stopped. The first two, three days were obviously spent unpacking, washing clothes, cleaning my room and so on. You can imagine that coming back in a student house after the huge apartment we shared in CPT is a bit of a disappointment and takes some adjustment. At least it kept me busy... now I am more or less settled again. In my house. Alone. No big vibrant city around me. No people who will talk to you out of the blue just because they are interested in life in general. No physio roommates to discuss our days with. And whether it rains here or there is just the same, but at least there it only rains in winter. I miss my new made friends a lot, although I am happy to be back with the old ones. It's just not the same. No hospital full of children waiting for you. No babies ward to walk into in the morning to get 20 hugs and kisses. No boys who are daring you and testing you. No girls treating you like their big sister and best friend.
My head tells me that even if I should go back after graduating, it will never be the same. People will have left, patients won't be the same, the city will have changed. But my heart is hurting so much.
Coming back to Holland, it seems nobody except for my parents, Esmeralda, Lennart and Kijn knew exactly when I was coming back, which resulted in a kind of "Hello? Anybody home?" feeling. I try to make an appointment with my supervisor at school to check if I'm on the right way with my thesis and everything: I get an email back that his schedule is full. Excuse me? I thought I was paying a shitload of money here to get the education that I want. But it seems to me that life is a way better teacher after my experiences in Cape Town. I will finish my studies and I will work in the country for a bit, earn some money.. But you can count on me leaving for the world as soon as I can. Because I have known in my heart for years and years already that that is my future. And Cape Town has only made this feeling grow stronger.
My head tells me that even if I should go back after graduating, it will never be the same. People will have left, patients won't be the same, the city will have changed. But my heart is hurting so much.
Coming back to Holland, it seems nobody except for my parents, Esmeralda, Lennart and Kijn knew exactly when I was coming back, which resulted in a kind of "Hello? Anybody home?" feeling. I try to make an appointment with my supervisor at school to check if I'm on the right way with my thesis and everything: I get an email back that his schedule is full. Excuse me? I thought I was paying a shitload of money here to get the education that I want. But it seems to me that life is a way better teacher after my experiences in Cape Town. I will finish my studies and I will work in the country for a bit, earn some money.. But you can count on me leaving for the world as soon as I can. Because I have known in my heart for years and years already that that is my future. And Cape Town has only made this feeling grow stronger.
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05 Juni 2008 - 11:45
Kraal:
Gij gekkenhuize man! Bende gij weer terug in Brabant!!!!! nog wat gedaan daar??? wast boeiend! of wat vraag ik je! -
05 Juni 2008 - 19:32
Laurens W.:
Hey Heleen.
Ongelooflijk wat jij neertypt. Zo dubbel allemaal. Bitter-sweet huh?
Erg mooi te horen hoe deze reis, als het ware, jouw verlangen dubbel en dwars bevestigd heeft en ook nog eens erg verlangt naar meer: de wereld gaan zien :)
Met je goede insteek, die ik gemerkt heb in je vorige verhalen en de energie en wil die ik van je ken (zo goed ken ik je niet maar, dit is me wel opgevallen), wil ik eigenlijk niets anders dan je alle geluk en plezier wensen voor deze toch al deels ingevulde toekomst. Een erg mooie toekomst met veel, veeeeel mogelijkheden binnen het terrein dat jou het meest aanspreekt.
Welkom thuis maar bovenal: welkom bij jezelf. Erg mooi :) Ga er voor!
Laurens. -
07 Juni 2008 - 23:36
Joni:
gek dat je weer thuis bent! Hoop dat je snel helemaal je draai vindt. Ik ben wel beetje jaloers hr!
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